


Do you need me like I need you?

by Bright_Moon_Beam



Series: Felt like Home [2]
Category: The Dolan Twins, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Drama, Fever, Fights, Gen, Headaches & Migraines, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Love, Sick Character, Sickfic, Twins, sick grayson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-08 20:17:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20841401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bright_Moon_Beam/pseuds/Bright_Moon_Beam
Summary: If Ethan had really caught feelings for Emma, Grayson was so sure he would tell him. He was so sure that either he was seeing things that weren’t there or he knew Ethan better than he knew himself, and his twin just hadn’t caught on to how the joke was turning into something more.If he did like Emma that was okay, but if it meant that his twin was going to ignore him than there was a definite line being crossed. Grayson can keep his mouth shut for a while, but it all comes to a head when he isn't feeling well and Ethan doesn't do his brotherly duty and notice





	Do you need me like I need you?

**Author's Note:**

> After receiving some really awesome comments I decided I definitely want to post more and make a little series. Unfortunately I am very busy no matter how much time I wish i had to write. I knew college would be busy but I never dreamed it would be quite so crazy-- that being said attending the university I am has probably been the best choice I have ever made and I feel more alive than I ever have even if I am tired 
> 
> This little thing here is another little blurb I started forever ago and never finished and now hopefully I’ll get it done and can post it. Last time E was suffering and this time it’s Gray :} Also this was meant to just be brotherly love but you can take it as whatever you want to ;)

From the outside looking in, he knew exactly what it looked like. Ethan and Emma were either in a secret relationship or they were acting close to gain some buzz. All publicity was good publicity after all, and some dating rumors to increase the views on all of their collabs wasn’t a bad thing.

It really wasn’t a big deal. The fans were in suspense and they held all the control. Grayson shouldn’t really have to worry about it and he never really would have thought twice about it if there wasn’t one very big problem.

Grayson felt just as clueless as the fans He wasn’t sure himself if Ethan and Emma were faking it or not. Ethan laughed at the rumors with all of them, but Grayson knew his twin better than anyone and he definitely knew what he was like when he had a crush on a girl. 

Grayson never had a puppy, but he imagined that was what Ethan was like. He was loyal and clingy and really enjoyed praise. He would look at the girl like she had put the sun in the sky and while Ethan made fun of his methods of flirting he knew his brother wasn’t any better, preferring cheesy lines to the fake smooth moves Grayson tried to use. Ethan liked to pretend he was cool and knew the way to every woman’s heart, but he had always been more shy than Grayson. He was sweet and timid and it worked for him because it was cute.

Grayson wasn’t blind to the way he looked at Emma. He couldn’t ignore the twinkle in his eyes or how hard he laughed at her jokes. He wasn’t playing it up for the camera and he knew that. There was something there, he was almost sure of it, but Ethan hadn’t mentioned it and it was driving him Insane.

If he had really caught feelings for Emma, Grayson was so sure he would tell him. He was so sure that either he was seeing things that weren’t there or he knew Ethan better than he knew himself and his twin just hadn’t caught on to how the joke was turning into something more.

Grayson was the more patient of the two, so he kept his mouth shut for weeks, but he still wasn’t all that patient and Ethan started crossing lines that really made him feel like he was keeping secrets from him. 

He understood that they were different people. While he liked to be with Ethan more than anyone else nine out of ten times, he definitely knew when they needed a little space and he respected the fact that they could have the same friends, but still hang out at different times. 

He didn’t really understand when it was done often though. When it cut into their already made plans and left him lonely and stuck doing work he shouldn’t have to be doing all on his own. 

Ethan liked hanging out with Emma and he got that. He understood that she was funny and chill and a girl that related to the lifestyle enough that it wasn’t an issue. She was also still fairly new to LA and didn’t have many friends other than them. If she needed something they were always there, but Grayson found she would always call Ethan before him.

He didn’t care that Ethan went to Emma’s. He was bothered by the fact that he did it so often. He cared that he pushed off editing to go, and their dinners plans,and in general anything Grayson suggested they do just because Emma was bored slacking on making her own videos. 

Maybe if Ethan would just say he liked her, it wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe if he just looked Grayson in the eye and admitted the ethma shippers were right, he could push off the lingering loneliness in the name of his brother getting a steady girlfriend because he knew that is what he always wanted.

Ethan didn’t say that though. He didn’t say a single word about it. He just gave Grayson excuse after excuse and Grayson reached a snapping point inevitably.

That morning he had woken up later than usual. He didn’t know how he had managed to sleep through his alarm, but his eyes opened about an hour after it was supposed to have gone off, his head pounding. He hadn’t gotten a headache so bad in a long time and especially not one that he had woken up with. He couldn’t help the grumpiness that crept up on him as he slipped out of bed.

He wasn’t feeling much like breakfast or working out since his head really was killing him, so he simply snagged some medicine from the cabinet in his bathroom before going back to his computer to get some work done. It was still too early to wake Ethan even if he had slept in later than he normally would have, so he had time to kill anyway.

After about ten minutes though the light of his computer just made his head feel worse. He was decidedly nauseated, so he shut it off and put his head down, wishing it was just time to wake Ethan already.

His brother was always there for him when he was sick. They both got sick a lot when they were young and for a while, before he became the bigger and stronger twin, Grayson had always had significantly more issues because of his asthma.

When one became sick the other always inevitably followed, but when Grayson was sick first he wanted nothing more than for Ethan to take care of him, and now that their mom wasn’t there the feeling was magnified. He contemplated just throwing himself into his brothers bed to sleep beside him, but they hadn’t slept in each other’s beds in a while now and he couldn’t help but feel weird about it. 

It had been commonplace place when they were young and even more inseparable until it fizzled away with age and declarations of independence, but when they first moved to LA they had a little too much independence and having sleepovers in each other’s bed was nothing weird. They both knew they were scared, but they also both knew there was nothing they could do to get rid of it just by complaining. So they would talk and joke for hours on end until they felt good enough to sleep. 

They adjusted after a few months and eventually they didn’t need the proximity anymore. Ethan didn’t need him at all anymore, it seemed like, and Grayson didn’t want to bother him so he just stood and went to go sit on the couch, turning the tv on low, waiting for the medicine to kick in.

An hour later he only felt worse. He felt clammy and grumpy and the pressure wrapping from his right temple to his nape was pulsating, making him feel shaky and desperate. Ethan still would be sleeping and he tried to be better about waking him violently, but he really needed his brother so he didn’t care as he walked down the hall to his room, pushing open the door.

“E.” He said softly, clearing his throat before speaking up again a little louder. “E!” He reached over to shake the lump of blankets on the bed, dodging Ethan’s hands when he swatted at him.

“Grayson stop!” He whined, trying to roll away from him, “go away!”

“Ethan, get up,” Grayson said seriously, his head pounding worse at all the commotion, leaving him feeling dizzy. He was beginning to think there was something really wrong and he didn’t like it. He felt scared and he wanted E.

“Grayson, I was up really late last night so can you please just quit.” He murmured, reaching out to blindly find his phone, groaning in frustration when he saw the time, “Grayson what the hell man?” He snapped angrily, “it is way earlier than normal.” He threw a pillow blindly in Grayson’s direction, completely missing before snuggling his face down into another pillow, ;already going back to sleep.

“E.” He murmured, bending down to grab a pillow Ethan had missed him with, setting it gently back onto his bed, “please,” he had no energy to fight with him this morning. He couldn’t drag him out of bed, or scream in his ear, or wrestle. He just needed E. He needed his brother to realize something was wrong and help. He always knew just like Grayson did when Ethan was hurt or sick. They couldn’t feel each other's pain(that twin myth had been busted), but they could see it in the others eyes or hear it in the others tone of voice.

Ethan didn’t sit up and ask what is wrong though. He just let out a groan and something that vaguely sounded like ‘five more minutes’. Grayson stated feeling forlorn before backing up to leave the room and let him sleep. He stumbled as he walked, almost losing his balance in the hall, but he simply righted himself and brushed it off before slumping down on the couch and feeling sorry for himself.

Despite being alone and being pretty annoyed about it, Grayson managed to slip off to sleep on the couch without even meaning too. He was still sitting and his head head lulled into an uncomfortable position, but he still had fallen back to sleep so he was surprised when Ethan got up all on his own his loud yawn announcing his arrival before he could even be seen, stirring Grayson awake right before he walked into the room.

“Geez Gray, have you just been sitting there all their morning waiting for me to get up?” He asked quizzically, scratching his arm as he looked down at him.

Grayson just shrugged, feeling disoriented after his multiple hour nap, still feeling upset with Ethan for not noticing.

“Stop acting like a weirdo,” his twin murmured looking at him even more suspiciously before walking passed him to the kitchen, slapping the back of his head much more gently than he normally would as he went “I’m sorry I didn’t get up right away but that doesn’t mean you should just sit and pout for hours as payback.” He grumbled. Gray could hear Ethan fiddling around in the fridge, and he rubbed at his eyes, wishing he had worn something warmer than basketball shorts and a t-shirt to bed since the house seemed to be freezing. “You know I always complain about you waking me up like a jerk, but I would rather that than you giving me the silent treatment.”

“I’m not giving you the silent treatment.” Grayson argued, clearing his throat afterward. 

“You were,” Ethan insisted coming back into the room with two water bottles, throwing one to Grayson which he caught, a frown still on his face. 

“I wasn’t.” He mumbled, unscrewing the cap and taking a sip, unable not to feel hurt that Ethan still hadn’t asked if he was feeling well. 

“Look,” Ethan started, sitting down beside him unceremoniously. “Why don’t we go out for lunch or something? Will that make Gray feel better?” He cooed, treating Grayson like a baby as he put him in a loose chokehold. Grayson squirmed a bit trying to seem offended even though it did make him feel a lot better. He was unable to stop the laugh that bubbled out. “Did poor baby Grayson just need some attention for his big brother?” Ethan continued to tease, making Grayson whine despite himself.

“E. Shut the fuck up.” He said seriously before they both burst into laughter. A moment later Ethan let go and stood up. 

“Go get ready weirdo. I can’t believe you really sat there all this time just to prove a point.” Ethan mumbled, heading to his own room to get ready. 

Grayson didn’t bother to correct him. He rose from his spot and stretched his arms out, groaning as the satisfying little crack, before he meandered to his own room to search for something nice and preferably warm to wear. He still felt like it was freezing. 

After he had on one of his favorite hoodies and a nice pair or jeans he moved back to the living room surprised to see Ethan already back and the phone only half dressed.

Grayson slipped back down on the couch and watched a bit confused, listening to Ethan finish up with whoever it was.

“Are You kidding me”  
“Are you sure?”  
“How does that even happen?”  
“Alright… yes. See you then.” 

He hung up the phone with a sigh, looking at Grayson sheepishly. Just by that he knew he wasn’t going to like what his brother had to say.

“What?” He asked crossing his arms over his chest.

“Emma called.” 

“And?” Grayson asked, his heart started to beat faster. 

“She really needs someone to come and help her out. Her new camera is really shitting the bed on her and she is already running behind schedule with filming. She is really freaking out, man.” He said it with a shrug and Grayson looked down at his lap. For a moment he was just going to let it go. It was a legitimate reason and he knew that, but Ethan had promised they would get lunch. He was supposed to be making him feel better. He was supposed to actually notice he was sick in the first place.

“Do you like Emma or something?” He asked bluntly, crossing his arms again, his eyes dark.

“Dude what the hell?” Ethan asked, shocked and defensive. “Are you serious right now?”

“Yes, I’m fucking serious. All you do is hang out with Emma. I never thought you would pay more attention to her than me, but here we are Ethan. You are ditching me again for her.”

“Grayson, I can’t help but she wants to hang out. You are literally the one who said we should have our own friendship connections outside of each other.”

“So it’s just a friendship?” Grayson asked with a snap, beyond agitated.

“Yes! my God,” Ethan practically growled, crossing his arms over his bare chest, his hair still rumpled from sleep.

“That’s not what it looks like to me. I’m not blind you idiot. I see the way you look at her, and how you respond to the rumors, and how you never want me around when you are with her. Man, I don’t even care if you like Emma. I just want you to be honest.” As he spoke he watched Ethan’s face turn progressively more and more red and he knew his own face was burning as well because he could feel it.

“No Grayson. That is not how it will go. Every time I like a girl you get jealous which is what you are right now. You want my attention and someone else has it and now you don’t know what to do with yourself. If I told you I liked her you would pretend it was fine, but then you would get all whiny and clingy just like you are now.”

“I wouldn’t-“ Grayson started to protest but Ethan cut him off.

“You are a shit liar and even if you weren’t you know I would still be able to tell.” His eyes were narrowed and Grayson felt himself internally deflate like a balloon, but he sat still with the same stoic expression like he was still ready to fight. “I don’t know if I like Emma okay. I have no idea what’s going on and that’s why I didn’t tell you. I didn’t think it would be this big of a deal.”

“We both agreed it would be hard to date someone seriously because of how close we are.” Grayson said, his voice low and full of malice. “You said you knew our bond was strong and no girl would ever come between us, but you haven’t spent time with me in weeks.”

“Grayson, stop it!” Ethan spat, suddenly going off, obviously annoyed Grayson hadn’t backed down. Maybe Grayson would have if he didn’t feel so bad, but he felt undeniably disgusting and he wasn’t in the mood for Ethan’s shit.

“Shut the fuck up, Ethan. Just go ahead and fucking leave me.”

“Maybe you should just get the fuck over yourself and realize that I don’t need you as much as you need me.” Ethan knew it was a button and he knew he could push it. He knew they had struggled to make friends their whole life because they were too loud and too annoying and their friends always ended up leaving them for one reason or another. He knew they swore they would always be each other's best friends and that they would always need each other. Ethan knew he was afraid that one day he would be left in the dust and he had said it just to make Grayson’s skin crawl.

Grayson wasn’t just going to take that. He wasn’t going to ignore it like it wasn’t the splitting blow of his cracking heart. Without uttering a word he stood and hurried down the hall to his room, crashing in and slamming the door behind himself, locking it with shaking hands. He moved towards his bed to crash down, pressing his hands to his temple to try and alleviate the piercing pressure that had almost doubled because of the argument.

“Grayson!” He heard Ethan's voice, but it sounded almost distant as he pounded on the door only a few feet away. “Grayson, I didn’t mean it. I got carried away. I swear to god I could never mean something like that.” He sounded desperate and scared and Grayson hated the fact that he felt guilty for shutting him out when he definitely had been the bigger jerk first. “Gray, let me in.”

“Go away,” Grayson mumbled, his bottom lip quivering. He felt so close to crying and even if he did want to be curled up in Ethans arms and given some more medicine he wasn’t going to cave in. Ethan made him feel like shit and now Ethan was going to have to feel like shit too for putting him through this.

“Grayson come on. I’m so sorry.” Ethan begged. “Don’t shut me out.”

“Just go get ready so you can go help Emma with her camera.” Grayson snapped, pulling his blankets around himself, shoving his face in his pillow, prepared not to say another word no matter what Ethan did. Ethan didn’t bother saying anything else at all though. He knew his brother was still there because he hadn’t heard him walk away and he wanted to wait to make sure he was gone before he went back to bed, but he found he really didn’t have much of a choice, slipping off into an uneasy sleep a few minutes later. 

A few hours later, Grayson woke in a puddle of sweat, his entire body shaking. He didn’t know what had happened, but he had never felt the way he did now In his entire life. Something was really wrong, it was undeniable at this point and his anger at his brother was forgotten in an instant 

“E!” He wailed loudly. “Ethan!” He felt as if he was on fire, his limbs and his head were on the brink of exploding, but he heard nothing. He couldn’t help the tears that started to run down his cheeks. His fever clouded mind assumed Ethan was ignoring him and letting him suffer, but after a moment he regained his senses enough to remember Ethan had went to Emma’s and was probably still there. He searched in the tangle of sweaty bed sheets for his phone, calling Ethan as fast as he could, still crying as it rang. He rarely ever cried, but now that it had started it seemed he couldn’t get it to stop.

“Grayson?” Ethan answered sounding surprised  
“Ethan,” Grayson said breathlessly, feeling a little calmer just at the sound of his voice.  
“Buddy, I’m sorry,” Ethan said quickly, sounding concerned, “I really didn’t mean it and you know it.”  
“Ethan,” Grayson repeated, squeezing his eyes shut hard as he started to feel nauseated.  
“Gray, are you crying? What is going on?” Ethan asked, his tone immediately turning dire.  
“Ethan, something is really wrong,” Grayson explained feeling dizzy despite not having moved an inch or even opening his eyes. “E, I need you please come get me. I don’t know what the hell is going on, but it is bad.” He said seriously.  
“I’m coming, Gray.” Ethan said quickly. Grayson could have sworn he was on the verge of tears too,but he couldn’t have been sure as he listened to his brother mumble something to Emma. She sounded upset from the mumble Grayson heard back, but it didn’t matter because he heard the sound of a door closing and he knew Ethan would be there soon.

Grayson listened to his brother rush around. He could hear him jog to the car and the sound of him pulling out his keys. He didn’t ask his brother to stay on the line, but Ethan knew. Ethan always just knew. Grayson felt so relieved to know he was coming, yet he couldn’t stop the sobs erupting from his mouth.

He cried until Ethan busted into the still locked room, his hair wild and his face red with exertion. Grayson wasn’t sure how he had gotten there that fast in LA traffic and he was positive his brother had broken some laws, but he didn’t really care as Ethan moved to cradle him in his arms. 

“Jesus Gray! You are burning up,” He could hear the fear in Ethan’s voice and he reached upward to cup his jaw, his fingertips quivering against the sharp curve of bone.

“Shit! Shit, shit, shit!” Ethan cursed, as he laid his hand over Grayson’s steadying him. His vision was swimming, yet somehow he could still see his twin’s face clearly, recognizing the tears glossing over his bright eyes.

He wasn’t sure how his brother managed, but Ethan half carried, half dragged him into the bathroom, getting him into a bath to cool his fever.

It was all a blur and Grayson couldn’t really remember much. He swore he remembered Ethan telling him how much he needed him though and when Grayson was sitting in a hospital bed later, getting pumped full of strong meds and fluids, he felt a huge sense of relief as Ethan was right by his side.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope everyone enjoyed!!!
> 
> I was really touched by all your nice comments and I'm super happy to get this out to you guys who wanted more!  
If you liked it please comment again and let me know ;)
> 
> ALSO
> 
> If you guys have any requests or suggestions for sickfics or hurt/comfort fics for the Dolan twins PLEASE comment and tell me. I love to fill requests <3


End file.
